Not a good day.

Today started off well.  I woke up, drank some water, had strawberries with the rest of my cashew cream ice cream (melted overnight in the fridge.  maybe 1/4 cup.)  went shopping with the husband and kids and planned on going to a birthday party with my family to a treasured friend's home.

So at lunch (after shopping) I went and got a salad, and even skipped the croutons.  Very proud of myself.  Then in walked temptation.  I'm talking the kind of temptation that is smoking hot, right in your face and calling you, nay- beckoning you to share in the sinful pleasures it brings.  Yeah, I thought I was ready.

Not a chance.  Today was blown during and after lunch.

I told you that I was going to do total transparency to not only hold myself and have you hold me accountable.  Boy, there is some accountability needed here....  (at least I'm not a guru in the health world..... yet. ;) )

This morning:

Sliced strawberries (about a pound) with some cashew cream.  Let me tell you, this was absolute heaven for me!  It was everything that screams summer breakfast.  Light, delicious, creamy, sweet, and yumtastic.

Lunch:

I went shopping so I got a salad out.  A garden salad; no cheese, no croutons, just veggies.  1- it was a mediocre salad at best.  most of the veggies were wilted and there was a slight watery goo at the bottom of the bowl.  Which means that salad was there at least a week or two.  SO not happy with that, but I trudged on like a good soldier.  then in walks my husband with popeye's chicken.   it went down hill from there.

Then I went to a kid's birthday party and I dove onto the plate of rice krispie treats like a zombie on soft organs.  :/  It was bad.  I then had a hot dog.

0 days meat free as of today.  Mea culpa, y'all.

BUT the key to life is love, and in love, I have to love myself.  Which means I have to forgive myself and move on.  After all, nothing good happens when you wallow, and absolutely zero moving forward is equivalent to death.

I am inundating myself with life and positivity.   Going to meditate on some positive thoughts, and I'll catch you tomorrow with my update!

Hugs and love!  And don't forget- you Rawk!

Challenge.

I wrote you yesterday saying that I was dying.  I am on the road to a massive coronary, stroke, kidney and liver failure, and a slew of other health problems, up to and including death prematurely, from completely preventable diseases.

Today I was on my personal facebook page and I said that I wanted to be the healthiest person I know.  Well, I inadvertently put out a challenge by doing so.  The thing is:  being the healthiest person you know; there isn't a standard.  It's comparing yourself to who you were before, and your habits to those around you.

No, this isn't an "act better than anyone else" kind of thing, it's "is my health better than everyone I know?".  When a friend has allergies or is sick, or whatever- are you healthier than that?  And are you SURE?

This can quickly turn "ugly", but I want to encourage you to be the healthiest YOU can be.  

See?  This is why I'll likely never make money off of my blog.  I can't get my thoughts out correctly.

 Meanwhile, I'm going to try to write what I eat on a daily basis, and hold myself accountable and hope you hold me accountable as well!  I also want to start vlogging, but yeah- be forewarned; I SUCK at that.  Once I figure it out, I'll gladly get everything up and running for your viewing pleasure.

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I'm dying.

Y'all, I'm dying.  If I don't do something about my health NOW, I will die before my children graduate.  The oldest is 10.  If I don't do something now, I will become a burden on my husband and children, and I will never see my children get married.  I won't know my grand children.

Scary thought, huh?

Yeah.  It was for me.  It hit me like a freight train that I am on the path to destruction.  So, what do I do?  I am focusing on my health.

There are so many things wrong with me:  my heart, my ovaries, my thyroid, my spine, my liver, my kidneys- everything needs an overhaul.

So, Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's back to raw I go....

I leave this lifestyle on occasion for any variety of reasons, but now I have all the reason to stay.  If I don't succeed, I will truly lose the most precious thing I can give my family- myself.  No, that's not selfish or conceited.  How many children are better off without their mother, when the mother loves and wants to be part of their life; the mother encourages them and helps them achieve their goals and teaches them more than just how to be an ambiguous member of society?  None.

So, here I am, working on me.  I am in the process of leaning heavily on people like Markus Rothkranz, and Cara Brotman, and Ani Phyo, and Shazzie Love, and David Wolfe, and Fully Raw Kirstina, and even Dr. Douglas Graham.

I want to live!  The desperation has never been greater for me, so I am going to live through raw foods.